the past two months have been so lonely without you. i'm always thinking- "what if..." because, what if you WERE here? because what if you saw us now? i'm a wreck almost every night wondering where you are. the people who help show me that life moves on are slowly getting cut down and i can feel reality setting in. i hate being alone- although i always have -losing you made it that much worse. now i feel a real emptiness because someone is really missing. someone that wont be back in a few hours, days or weeks. i feel an emptiness that will never get filled because you're gone.
i would stop being so angry with you if you promised to come back and never pull a stupid stunt like this again. i'll never get angry again, i promise. it'll be nothing but happy times and all laughs, just like you wanted. i'll get help to erase your pain if you promise to come back and never go. i listen to your silly stories and i promise not to shake my head at your mistakes. i wish i has listened to every word you said to me, because now even the simplest words and sentences seem so precious to me. i wish i could go and take back every mean and critical thing i'd said about you.
i know i'll be sitting up til 3 in the morning again, trying to text you and message you. i'll write you another letter or i'll call you one more time. i'll keep praying that you answer me. if you come back to me, i'll keep it our little secret if you don't want anyone to know. show me you're okay. another two and a half hours til i fall asleep snuggling with your picture.
i'm not mad anymore, i just miss you alot. so come back home. to this home. where me and my brother are. because we love you. and we miss you. we'll hold you and listen to your pain. just come back. you've missed so much and i feel like i'm missing out on stuff with you too.
i'm sorry for ranting. i know you prefer one liners, sarcasm, and great wit- but that's all stuff i've run out of the past few days. so come back, and show me another little piece of this world i've never known. <3