JMerrx05

the past two months have been so lonely without you. i'm always thinking- "what if..." because, what if you WERE here? because what if you saw us now? i'm a wreck almost every night wondering where you are. the people who help show me that life moves on are slowly getting cut down and i can feel reality setting in. i hate being alone- although i always have -losing you made it that much worse. now i feel a real emptiness because someone is really missing. someone that wont be back in a few hours, days or weeks. i feel an emptiness that will never get filled because you're gone. i would stop being so angry with you if you promised to come bac

woot woot. going with the family. and my boyfriend is coming up for a couple days and then some of my friends are stopping by:] i can't wait. this trip will be great... i hope. it's raining right now as we're about to leave :P hopefully it's not a bad omen or something. but hopefully i'll  get some nice shots... doubt it though, my camera broke real bad. it still takes pictures but the focus isn't working right. god, i need a job so i can get a new one. :P oh well, i wont let it ruin my time:] i'll be gone for the week, so leave me some love <3

this weekend was so jam packed for me. busybusybusy. i wasn't going to have a chance to think at any point because i'd be going from place to place. but thursday night was the pause button to all that. i was going home to have my mom tell me that an extremely close family friend had died... more like an older brother to me. he was only 19 and the things this boy had planned for his life were extraordinary. he was quite the funny kid and always made stupid, one liner remarks on everything. he knew how to look on the bright side and knew just how to be an "older brother" my week stopped. i had never felt more sick in my life. and just now, a